Car Safety: Calming a Crying Baby

Who hasn't experienced the screaming baby on a trip to pay the bills, go grocery shopping, or for the more adventurous a long road trip? It happens to all of us. For some mothers it is a constant battle and for others it is sporadic but when it happens it can be heartbreaking. None of us enjoy hearing our baby cry and this lack of enjoyment only increases when we are limited in our capability to fix the problem. Instead of focusing on what we cannot do this post will feature what we can do to help a crying car seat baby.

1. Assess the car seat - There is quite a bit to this step. Make sure the car seat is comfortable for the baby. Check the straps to see if they are too loose or too tight, make sure the incline is correct, feel the fabric and the buckles to see if they are super hot or cold, feel around for any hard bumps maybe a lost toy. You also want to check to see if your baby is being hit directly with sunlight as this causes many to cry.

2. Create a car toybox - Put several car safe toy in a car safe toybox. Then when baby cries reach back and hand him/her a toy, every time. The box should have a lid and be relatively soft. The toys should be soft as well, something that wouldn't harm baby if it went flying in a car crash.

3. Pull over - Sometimes, even when five minutes from your house, you just have to pull over and comfort baby for awhile. Enjoy this time together, I promise you'll miss it later and I promise it is more important than wherever you have to be in most cases.

4. Talk or Sing to baby - Many babies are soothed by their mother's voice. Even if baby isn't soothed they will know you care about them and hear them crying. It is a way of showing affection even when you can't stop the crying.

5. Put some ice in a mesh feeder or a baby sock - Many babies love to suck on these contraptions and it can keep them occupied quite a long time.

6. Offer a binky - If your baby takes a binky then be sure to offer it for the car ride. We have a special car binky.

7. Have a special car seat toy - This toy is only played with while in the car. Babies get bored easy so this helps create novelty.

8. Bring the car seat in the house and let baby play in it - This helps break down the association of car seat as something negative.

9. Place a poster safely on the seat in front of baby - They make special baby items for this purpose. It gives baby something to look at while you are driving.

10. Play music or white noise - Many babies are soothed by music or white noise.

11. Assess for a medical condition - Babies with reflux, for example, may need the incline of their car seat adjusted (within safety guidelines) to make sure that driving is comfortable for them. There are many baby items you can purchase to help with this.


Now I know I promised a list of things you can do versus things you shouldn't do but I fibbed a bit. I do feel the need to create a small list of "do-nots".

1. Do not leave handle up of the carseat unless the manual expressly says it is safe to do so. If it is safe to leave the handle up it is still not safe to hang toys from it.

2. Do no take baby out of car seat while you or someone else is driving. The risk is not worth the perceived benefit.

3. Do not turn around while driving, pull over if you must.

4. Do not turn the car seat around to forward-facing prematurely. A lot of people will say that their babies stopped hating the car seat once it was forward-facing. However, we now know that it is much safer to rear face your child for an extended period of time. The benefits of safety far outweigh the risk of having an unhappy child.

Sleep Solution: Replace Your Mommy Mantra

Image from helpfornewmoms.com

"Will this child ever sleep?"

"I am so tired."

"It's 3:00 a.m. so if baby goes to sleep now I'll get 4 hours of sleep."

"How am I going to function tomorrow?"

"This happens every night."

"I wish baby would just stop crying."



Do these phrases sound familiar? Think about them carefully. What mantra do you repeat to yourself when you are up late with your baby, toddler, or child?

Such mantras add more stress to your life. Positive thinking can go a long way to changing your feelings about difficult situations.

I understand that the solution I'm hinting at seems overly simple. For that reason many of you will dismiss this advice and continue doing what hasn't been working. That is your right. However, ask your self this: what would it hurt to try this out? This method takes little extra time and minimal effort to try out. If you are at the point of considering parenting methods that are not widely considered gentle you might as well give this a try.
Here is the method:

1. Turn your clock around to face the wall.

2. Do nothing physically different tonight (or the next night your sweet child is up all night or having trouble going down to sleep). But keep a pen and paper nearby. When you start feeling overwhelmed write down the thoughts that repeat in your mind.

3. The next day when you are feeling a bit more refreshed read over your mommy mantras. Consider how unhelpful they are. Consider this: In the moment that you are completely exhausted and frustrated you don't have too much control over how the night turns out and thus how much sleep you and baby get.

4. Now replace your mommy mantras with something useful. This may take a bit of thought or a night or two of trial and error. Practice repeating this mantra throughout the day.

5. The next time you have a long night stop yourself when you are repeating the negative mommy mantras. If you must wear a hairband around your wrist and snap it when you start the negative thought process then do it. For some that is effective but most will not need it. If the physical pain of the wrist snap makes you even more frustrated then take a sip of water each time you say something negative.

6. Now replace your negative mantras with your positive ones. Repeat as necessary. Absolutely do not let the negative ones repeat. As soon as you notice it, even the feeling of it, stop it.


Give the method a week and after the week assess how well you have been completing the steps. You can't do it halfway. You must be committed. If you have followed the steps appropriately then assess if it has been working for you. Are you less stressed about night wakings or bedtime? If it has worked for you then fantastic. If not then it's time to move on to more extensive sleep solutions. Or perhaps you just need to find another way to stop the negative mommy mantra.

In addition to replacing your mantra with something positive find other ways to enjoy bedtime or night wakings. Tape a favorite tv show and watch it (you may need to put the caption on), start a painting that you only work on at night, have a night yoga routine, save a special sweet treat for these exhausting nights, record some positive mood music. I know that enjoying this time is difficult but it is possible or mostly possible.

I've been trying to get my little girl to sleep for several hours now only to finally get her down to sleep. She will wake several more times tonight but I'm not worried about that, the worst is over for us tonight. During our difficult sleep session tonight I had a brief moment of reflection that led me to type this out. I thought to myself "wow, I am amazingly calm, why?". Thankfully I could identify the answer. I used to be a sleep freak. I mean I coveted my sleep. Of course I was a huge sufferer of insomnia and plenty of other sleep issues so sleep was a huge commodity for me. What made my sleepless nights most difficult was the negative mantras I would say to myself and the constant clock checking. Once I was able to stop these behaviors I ended up relaxing so much more about bedtime. Now I'm grateful that I've had that experience, it has served me well as a mommy.

Gentle Discipline: Book Recommendations

Gentle Discipline Books

I am a proponent of using gentle discipline for every situation. I do not feel as if any situation warrants causing physical harm to your child and I do not think that physical harm is an affective teaching tool. In fact quite a research supports me but I'm not talking today about the pros and cons of physical punishment. What I am here to do is provide you with alternatives!

My confession is as follows: My darling daughter is now nearing seven months old. So that means I cannot yet speak from parenting experience. I do have an abundance of work related experience but I will not get into that. My intent is to arm myself with as many tools as possible so that when my daughter is old enough to need discipline I will have tools to use that do not require physical punishment. The reason I made this confession is because instead of offering gentle discipline techniques, at this point, I am going to offer you some reading material. In the future I hope to be able to provide information on said techniques.

If you feel that there is a book that needs to be added to my list or a book that does not fit the scope of gentle, natural, or attachment parenting please let me know in the comments section. Additionally if parents who have read these books want to help me create book summaries that would be very helpful.


Recommended Reading:

1. Parenting with Love and Logic

2. Playful Parenting

3. Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishment to Love and Reason

4. Nonviolent Communication

5. Adventures in Gentle Discipline

6. Discipline without Distress

7. The Discipline Book (by Sears)

8. Hold on to Your Kids

9. Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids

10. How to talk so your kids will listen and listen so your kids will talk

image from babydustdiaries.com

Breastfeeding: A Biting Baby!

Image from http://www.achildgrows.com

Ouch! S/he Bit Me!

One of the most predominant fears new moms have is how they are going to nurse when baby starts getting teeth. So when the first bite happens sometimes a bit of panic sets in, especially when baby thinks moms squeals of pain are super funny. I've got good news though. Not all moms will have a biting baby and those that do recover from it!

Here are my recommendations on dealing with a biting baby.

1. Assess for distractability. If biting is happening predominantly at the end of a nursing session then it is likely baby is just finished eating and is now using you as a "chew toy" so to speak. Delatch and let baby play. Or if baby is biting at the very beginning it could be that baby is in pain and doesn't really want to nurse or that you should take the measures in step 2. This also means allowing your baby to choose when to nurse. If you try to nurse LO when they aren't ready you are upping your chances for getting bit.

2. Assess for teething (which is the predominant reasons babies bite at the breast). If baby is teething then offer a cold or frozen washcloth before nursing. Or better yet put some ice in a mesh feeder or tied off baby sock. This will help the gums feel better and reduce the need for baby to chew on you.

3. When baby bites delatch. Every time. What seems to be the most affective delatching procedure for a biting baby is to pull baby into your breast so they have to delatch. You can alternatively stick a finger in baby's mouth to delatch.

4. Say a firm but gentle "No" or if you are trying not to use that word say "That Hurts" or "Ouch", anything as long as it is consistent. Verbal communication is important but must be followed through with action. Be aware of your tone when saying 'no', don't make it too playful or too scary.

5. Offer something for baby to bite on that is okay. They make teething bling you can wear around your neck. Redirect the biting to this or something else baby enjoys to bite. You might have to explore what that is. If you are comfortable offering a knuckle or finger that can help too.

6. Do not over react! This is very important. It probably doesn't seem like overreacting to you when you scream 'ouch' after baby bites because it really hurts. But if your baby is smiling or acting like this is fun then it was an overreaction. We don't want baby to think this is a game. Alternatively if your baby becomes upset at the thought of nursing you could have really scared them and now need to coax them back into it, very slowly and gently.

7. Encourage baby when s/he does not bite! Positive reinforcement is very important in teaching any lesson.

8. Have patience and be consistent. Stick to the routine and in time baby will get it. Don't give up too soon. Babies need time to learn. Usually about two weeks, sometimes shorter, if you've been consistent and you will see change. If not then re-asses what you are doing. Keep in mind that once teething is over this will likely end.

If your nipple becomes damaged from biting then please seek help from an IBCLC or your favorite La Leche Leader. You don't want nipple damage to stop you from nursing!

Keep in mind moms that this may be the first discipline measure you are taking with your child. You want it to be a positive experience for both you and set the tone for the future :).
If your nipple becomes damaged from biting then please seek help from an IBCLC or your favorite La Leche Leader. You don't want nipple damage to stop you from nursing!

Keep in mind moms that this may be the first discipline measure you are taking with your child. You want it to be a positive experience for both you and set the tone for the future :).

Edited 12/27/10 to remove elements of love-withdrawl

Sleep: To Sleep or Not To Sleep...

Mothering is about sacrifice.

Dear New Mother,

When will you next get some sleep?


Perhaps it will be when the first night you bring your baby home...
Or will your desire to watch the little human you created and worry over it's safety keep you awake?

Perhaps it will be when you have finally become used to have a small baby in your house and are exhausted from all the new demands put upon you...
Or will the biology of your day and night confused newborn force you to stay awake?

Perhaps it will be when your baby is a bit older, no longer a newborn, and seemingly the entire universe is telling you your baby should be sleeping through the night....
Or will the middle of the night cries of hunger for that dear bottle or breast touch your heart enough that it keeps you awake?

Perhaps it will be when you've overcome the influence of others and now have a walking and talking toddler..
Or will the tears of a "big kid" who wakes up at night sad because they have wet the bed once again keep you awake?

Perhaps it will be when you finally have a child, a little person surely capable of sleeping at night...
Or will that first nightmare that makes you want to hug your child and let him/her know how safe they really are cause you to stay awake?

Perhaps it will be when you've put that child to bed early so that Santa can come and leave a gift...
Or will that little bright excited face keep you awake (or rather wake you up out of anticipation!)?

Perhaps it will be when your child has their first sleepover....
Or will the anxiety and nervousness of having your child away from home and wondering how s/he is being treated keep you awake?

Perhaps it will be when your now older child starts sleeping happily at night....
Or will that horrible illness that is spreading around vatch your kid and your desire to comfort them through the sickness keeps you awake?

Perhaps it will be not when your child sleeps, but when your pre-teen stays awake all night cramming for an exam....
Or will you worry so much about your child not getting enough sleep their self that you stay awake? Or will you stay awake yourself trying to help with the homework?

Perhaps it will be when you have a teenager fully capable of caring for themself?
Or will the first time they miss curfew and the constant wondering if you should call the cops or give it one more hour keeps you awake?

Perhaps it will be when you trust the peers of your teenager so much so that a missed curfew no longer bothers you?
Or will the time they come home heartbroken for the first time or teased to tears keep you awake?

Perhaps it will be prom night when you fully relinquish control, you no longer have a say and can only hope your child has grown into a mature responsible adult...
Or will the thoughts of that safe-sex talk you had the night before keep you awake?

Perhaps it will come when your child, now adult, finally has their own place?
Or will the lonliness, utter silence, and worry of your child's safety keep you awake?

Perhaps it will be when your child is expecting themself and calls in the middle of the night thinking they have had labor contractions (or wife/partner has)?
Or will the anticipation and excitement, the thoughts of what your grandchild will look like, keep you awake?

And then starts a new generation. When will your daughter or son get any sleep?

-----------

When we choose to become a mother we choose our baby over ourself. At least I hope that is the case. So let's get real for a minute. When you have your beautiful new baby you have given up sleep for *at least* the next 18 years. When I read about all the moms who just want their baby to learn to sleep through the night I have to take a deep breath and chuckle a little. I want to say "But momma your little one is going to keep you up for the next eighteen years, enjoy the night wakings now and just get used to it". We might as well do just that, get used to it. When we accept that a reasonable amount of sleep is no longer something that we will always, or for some of us 'ever', get then we can find other ways to get in some rest or feel refreshed and happy as parents.

Find a way to embrace and enjoy this new era of your life. Even without that much needed sleep.

Sleep Solution: Lay Me Down to Sleep.... Gently

One of the most commonly asked questions among parents of infants is how they can get their baby to sleep better at night. It can cause stress, exhaustion, and an sense of being overwhelmed. I am a strong advocate of using gentle methods of helping your infant sleep and of helping mom feel better about the sleep situation.

1. Change Your Expectations - The first thing that we need to consider is changing our idea of what normal baby sleep consists of. If we expect our child to sleep through the night before the age of 18 months then we just might be kidding ourselves. And 18 months is pretty much an arbitrary number but I've put it in here to let you know that anything younger than that is completely up in the air. In fact the human adult wakes up, on average, every 90 minutes. So perhaps it is all just a big joke. Our children will never sleep through the night. The sooner we accept this the easier this sleep issue will become. We know that mother's stress levels affect baby's mood. We know that mother's emotional availability affects baby's sleeping habits. And we know, or should know, that biologically human infants were made to wake often during the night. This being exaggerated for breastfed infants but still true for every infant. And if they do sleep through the night it is likely that will change during a growth spurt, a developmental change, an illness and so on. This doesn't mean there aren't the rare few who do sleep through the night with little intervention and those babies aren't abnormal. They are just ahead of the game. I guess all-in-all this is a soft way of saying that when you became a parent you gave up your right to a good night's sleep. It will likely be a long time until you get one and that is fully normal especially for the infant who is just responding to how nature made them. And, in fact, accepting this will actually help you get a better night's sleep. Yes, I realize that is quite an interesting conundrum.

2. Make a Happy Mommy - The next thing we can work on is helping mom feel better. Since we have accepted that our babies are not going to sleep through the night we can focus on making mom's (and/or dad's) mental health and mood positive. This could mean feeling better through night wakings, for the mom who has a baby that isn't napping, or just feeling better overall.

Mommy Wellness Tips:

A. Naps - Do your best to fit in a nap. Even cat naps are restorative. So if you can slip in ten minutes in the car after work that will help! Or sleep 20 minutes during LO's afternoon nap. The afternoon nap is the one where baby is likely to sleep deepest and longest.

B. Stations - Set up food and drink stations around the house. That way if you become overwhelmed you can nourish yourself easily. You *will* feel better if you drink plenty of water and keep up on your calorie intake. So, put water bottles where LO sleeps and little snack baggies.

C. Enjoyment - Find something you can enjoy during the Middle of the Night wakings. Play on the internet, watch your DVR or a DVD, read a book. Anything that can take your mind off your stress and bring you a bit of mindless pleasure.

D. Anticipation - Try to build up a sense of anticipation for your Middle of the Night wakings. Even make it fake if you must. Figure out anything you can focus on as enjoyable during the MOTN so you can wake up happy.

E. Assess - Assess Yourself! Are you hungry, too hot, thirsty? Yes, we know you are tired! But what about your other needs. If you aren't meeting them all then it can make everything more difficult.

3. Educate Yourself! Knowledge is power. The more you know the less difficult your challenges will be, the more normal they will seem, and the less likely you will try non-gentle parenting techniques. this will also leave you armed with information in case a friend or a doctor recommends non-gentle parenting techniques.

A. Read some gentle parenting sleep books.
My top three recommendations are (in no particular order):
aa. The No Cry Sleep Solution
bb. Sleeping with Your Baby
cc. Nighttime Parenting

B. Dispel common myths regarding infant sleep.
aa. Rocking your baby to sleep, nursing your baby to sleep and at night, and/or cosleeping does not create sleep issues and will not create a child who has problems sleeping in their own bed.
bb. Infants are not supposed to sleep through the night. Their sleep cycle biologically has them wake at night. It is even preventative of SIDS that they wake at night.

C. Learn how the Cry-It-Out (CIO) method works.
aa. The cry it out method creates stress hormones to be released in moms body. That is one reason you feel so bad if you have tried to do this. You biologically were designed to respond to your baby's cries.
bb. The cry it out method creates abnormal and harmful amounts of stress hormones in your baby's body.
cc. The cry it out method does not teach your baby to self-soothe. It teaches them to shut down when they have night time needs.
dd. This video is a fantastic resource on how the CIO method works: "Penelope Leach Talks about Crying".

4. Gentle Sleep Tips - Here we have the heart of the matter. Gentle tips that you can put into practice to help encourage better sleep habits. Now I'm going to admit up-front that nothing here is going to shock your pants off. They are all fairly simple ideas and are not at all uncommon. They are not methods like what you will find in books. They don't require you to keep a journal or watch a clock. They are simple tips that if brought into your lifestyle will likely make sleep a less challenging issue. The more you are able to incorporate, the better.

A. Routines - Establish three types of routine to help your baby sleep better. You want a bedtime routine, a naptime routine, and a sleepy sound. Routines help your baby expect sleep. A sleepy sound is something like a gentle shush that you do when you want baby to calm down and sleep. Only use it at this moment. It will teach them that when this sound is made it is time to calm down.

B. Natural Light - Exposure to natural light helps infants sleep better. So get your kid outside for a walk daily or sit in the park. Even if you can only expose your child to five minutes a day you should see some benefit to it. If the temperature outside is simply too hot to take your child outside then open the curtains and have some play time in front of the window. Please remember to always use sunscreen. And know that artificial light cannot replace natural light. I will also mention that the natural light in combination with fresh air seems to have the biggest benefit.

C. Dark and Unstimulating - When it is time for sleep try to make your baby's sleeping environment as calm as possible. When it is night you also want it to be dark.

D. White Noise - Some babies respond very well to white noise. However you should try several types of white noise if your baby is not responding to it at first. Some examples are: mimic of mom's heartbeat, white noise machine or CD, light music, natural white noise such as a box fan or dryer.

E. Skin to Skin - The more skin to skin time you have during the day the better. If you can't have skin to skin time then body to body time also has great benefits. So babywear if possible. If not then just hold your baby and bathe with your baby as often as possible. You should always be touching your baby when they are feeding from a bottle or breast. Okay so breast is kinda obvious. Consider all the devices that exist to keep your baby away from you: strollers, playpins, walkers/bouncers, bath chairs, etc...

F. Deep Sleep Cues - Be able to read your baby's deep sleep cues. If you can read these you will know when baby is in a deep enough sleep that you can set them down or leave the room without them waking. Of course it would be nice if you didn't need to use this but quite frankly that is not always possible. One of the most typical deep sleep cues is heavy limbs. If you can raise your baby's arm and it falls down to the side then that is a good sign.

G. Quick Arousal Response - Notice when your baby begins to stir from nap or night sleep and respond quickly by putting your hand on LO, patting LO, offering a binky (if you use one) to try and avoid a full waking.

H. Soothing and Distraction - Use soothing responses when your LO does wake up. Perhaps LO just needs a minute of mommy patting his/her tummy before s/he goes back to sleep. Sometimes distraction can be helpful as well. Offer your hand as a toy to play with. Some moms prefer to try these methods before a night feeding b/c often a baby will fall asleep using these methods within a minute or two. If baby does not fall asleep then please consider night feeding, whether for hunger or for comfort.

I. Smells Like Mom - Put something that smells like mom next to your baby if you are laying baby down without you. Then when LO falls into a deeper sleep remove it so as to avoid a sleep hazard.

J. Reduce Your Anxiety - Babies do pick up on their parents' anxiety and will respond accordingly. So when you are starting to feel overwhelmed take a deep breath, drink some water, get a snack, take a shower. Do anything to give you a little pick-me-up.

K. Sleep Begets Sleep - Keep in mind that the more naps your baby will get the better your baby will sleep during the day and at night. An overtired baby is much harder to put down to rest. So offer more naps and an earlier bedtime. If you need to switch a bedtime then please make sure to do it incrementally.

L. Baby Needs Activity - During the day your baby needs activity! So engage your little one in play. Make sure your LO is active.

M. Diet - If your baby is on solid foods or formula you want to consider that you may be offering something that is causing your LO some digestive issues. If poor sleeping started recently try eliminating some foods to see if it helps or with your Pedi's help switching formula. If you are breastfeeding then consider the same for what is in your diet.

N. Comfort - Make sure your baby is comfortable. The first thing you want to check is baby's diaper of course. Check baby's fingers and toes to make sure they are not red and there is no hair wrapped around them. Check for a rash under baby's neck or in baby's armpits or on baby's bum. Check inside baby's ears for redness or ooze. Check baby's mouth for mouth sores, teeth, and thrush. Check baby's clothes to see if they are too tight around the arms and legs or if there is a scratchy tag. If all of these things check out think about the temperature of the room. Is it too hot or too cold? Remember too hot is a risk factor for SIDS an blankets in bed/crib is a risk factor for SIDS.

O. Co-Sleeping - This is one of the tools I suggest strongly. Co-sleeping can greatly affect mom's ability to get some sleep! If you want to know more about it's safety and how to do it safely I highly suggest reading the book "Sleeping with Your Baby". The author is a leading authority on parent baby sleep.

P. Medical Issues - Please keep in mind that your baby may have a medical issue causing sleep loss. There are lots of medical issues that can cause sleep issues and many of them are common such as earache and reflux. One primary reason your Pediatrician asks if your baby is sleeping is to assess if there is a medical sleep issue going on. Sometimes that can get lost when the Pedi also offers parenting advice that is unwanted.

Fore More Sleep Tips Visit the Dr . Sears Sleep Information Site Here.

Stay tuned... I will post resources for this information soon.

Health: A Breath of Fresh Air

A breath of fresh air is good for both child and parent!

I highly recommend getting outside once a day
as a daily ritual and commitment.

I realize there are a lot of deterrents to daily outdoor time: time, weather, inconvenience, multiple children, etc... I am offering to you that the benefits will be worth it. We can all take five minutes out of our day, or thirty for that matter, to do something as simple as going for a walk or sitting outside in the fresh air.

Of course the benefits to parent are pretty well known but please indulge me as a I list them again:

1. Vitamin D exposure (sunlight) increases your mood and is preventative of depression.

2. Getting outdoors increases chances of getting exercise. And any exercise, even a five minute walk a day, is good for our health.

3. When we can take a couple minutes a day to do something as relaxing as being outdoors our stress levels improve.

4. Getting outdoors increases amounts of quality family time which makes happier more well-adjusted families.

If that isn't reason enough to get outdoors consider the benefits for your baby or child that are in addition to what is listed above:

1. Getting sunlight during the day improves night time sleep.

2. Getting outdoors helps prevent colic.

3. Helps treat and prevent ADHD.

4. Preventative of obesity.

5. Sunlight exposure raises levels of Vitamin D which prevents cancer and builds strong bones.

6. Helps improve eyesight.

7. Makes for a more creative child.


So get outdoors!

1. Go for a daily walk!

2. Garden (you can babywear or have your child help out).

3. Sit on your porch and play a board game or people-watch.

4. Sit in the park!

5. Engage in an outdoor activity: go fishing, play sports, go for a hike.


Make this a commitment. Schedule it in if you need to. Then once you do let us know how your life has improved by having your daily dose of fresh air.



Note: All health claims are linked to an article. Not all articles are research-based but they do appeal to the common sense. I also believe with a little time we could find some research based articles to back up most, if not all, of these claims.

Health: Childhood Cancer Symptoms

We all think it can't happen to us. Our child will never get sick and if they do get sick we can take them to a doctor and make it all better. With sadness I must relay that this is not always true. Some children come down with life threatening illnesses. One such illness is childhood cancer. As I type this I send my prayers to their healing.

As a parent we need to be aware of the signs of childhood cancer. We need to watch for them in our children and if our mommy instinct tells us that something is not right we need to pursue it. Sometimes our Pediatrician will not take us seriously or will not give us advice that we find satisfactory. It is always okay to ask questions and get a second opinion!

Below I have provided the acronym and symptoms to look for. I know this is a difficult topic so take a deep breath, read the information, send vibes or prayers to families who have to deal with this and then go hug your little one.

Continued, unexplained weight loss

Headaches, often with early morning vomiting

Increased swelling or persistent pain in bones, joints, back, or legs

Lump or mass, especially in the abdomen, neck, chest, pelvis, or armpits

Development of excessive bruising, bleeding, or rash

Constant infections

A whitish color behind the pupil

Nausea which persists or vomiting without nausea

Constant tiredness or noticeable paleness

Eye or vision changes which occur suddenly and persist

Recurrent or persistent fevers of unknown origin

Information from Childhood Cancer Awareness Website.

If this touches you and you have the ability to do so you can make a donation:

Donate to CureSearch for Childhood Cancer

Rants: The Truth in Cliches

I'm sure we've all come across a cliche that we found to be so incredibly true that we wished when it was spoken it was felt more deeply. Of course because it is a cliche it is used more colloquially than with deep feeling.

Well, the cliche that touches my heart is this: "they grow too quickly". And it is so true! Where is that tiny baby that I gave birth to? The one whose entire body would fit in my arms with ease? The one who knew only mother and father and the world around her was foreign and uninteresting? Where is my tiny baby girl?

I know the answer of course. She has grown. Quite beautifully so. She has gone from reacting to the world to interacting with it. She is a big girl now and will only get bigger, smarter, and more independent.

Even following the attachment parenting method I fear the independence. Don't get me wrong I'm happy for her to grow, to learn, to reach new milestones. And yes even to be a self independent of me... I think? At the same time I yearn for us to be one body forever. To escape to a place where I can have an infant for two years, a three-month old for another two, and to continue in this vein until I feel that I'm ready for her to be grown. If only she could be a baby for longer, so much longer.

It feels like an impending and neverending loss. I'm sure this has to do with the loss of our angel baby, that we feel loss so deeply. That we want a *baby* so deeply.

So I try and focus on the positive. Having a one year old has to have some unique fantastic lovely experiences. Right? And a toddler, a school age child, maybe even a teenager... Of course to think that far right now brings me more angst than joy. I want to hold her in my arms forever and dread the day when she will push them off her to go play outside. I know she will always come back to mommy, even as an adult, but still the thought frightens me a little and saddens me a lot.

To add to the loss of infancy we will soon be starting foods. *Sigh*. She is trying to grab them off my plate now. I want to wait as long as possible to start but it won't be much longer. I love being her only source of nourishment. That she has thrived from my body and my love for her.

So she grows! She reaches new milestones! She is a smart, healthy, beautiful growing girl! Get a grip woman! There is positive to focus on. You can't change things. She is going to get bigger, become more independent, need you less. Really I am so so happy for her. That she can do these things. That I can experience this when so many can't. I have cherished every moment and want to cherish the rest. So mom's who have been there use this as a starting point. Tell me what we have to look forward to! I fear if you don't these last few months of babyhood will be equal grief to joy. Help me stop plugging my ears when people tell me how fast she is growing!