Gentle Discipline: Book Recommendations

Gentle Discipline Books

I am a proponent of using gentle discipline for every situation. I do not feel as if any situation warrants causing physical harm to your child and I do not think that physical harm is an affective teaching tool. In fact quite a research supports me but I'm not talking today about the pros and cons of physical punishment. What I am here to do is provide you with alternatives!

My confession is as follows: My darling daughter is now nearing seven months old. So that means I cannot yet speak from parenting experience. I do have an abundance of work related experience but I will not get into that. My intent is to arm myself with as many tools as possible so that when my daughter is old enough to need discipline I will have tools to use that do not require physical punishment. The reason I made this confession is because instead of offering gentle discipline techniques, at this point, I am going to offer you some reading material. In the future I hope to be able to provide information on said techniques.

If you feel that there is a book that needs to be added to my list or a book that does not fit the scope of gentle, natural, or attachment parenting please let me know in the comments section. Additionally if parents who have read these books want to help me create book summaries that would be very helpful.


Recommended Reading:

1. Parenting with Love and Logic

2. Playful Parenting

3. Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishment to Love and Reason

4. Nonviolent Communication

5. Adventures in Gentle Discipline

6. Discipline without Distress

7. The Discipline Book (by Sears)

8. Hold on to Your Kids

9. Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids

10. How to talk so your kids will listen and listen so your kids will talk

image from babydustdiaries.com

Health: A Breath of Fresh Air

A breath of fresh air is good for both child and parent!

I highly recommend getting outside once a day
as a daily ritual and commitment.

I realize there are a lot of deterrents to daily outdoor time: time, weather, inconvenience, multiple children, etc... I am offering to you that the benefits will be worth it. We can all take five minutes out of our day, or thirty for that matter, to do something as simple as going for a walk or sitting outside in the fresh air.

Of course the benefits to parent are pretty well known but please indulge me as a I list them again:

1. Vitamin D exposure (sunlight) increases your mood and is preventative of depression.

2. Getting outdoors increases chances of getting exercise. And any exercise, even a five minute walk a day, is good for our health.

3. When we can take a couple minutes a day to do something as relaxing as being outdoors our stress levels improve.

4. Getting outdoors increases amounts of quality family time which makes happier more well-adjusted families.

If that isn't reason enough to get outdoors consider the benefits for your baby or child that are in addition to what is listed above:

1. Getting sunlight during the day improves night time sleep.

2. Getting outdoors helps prevent colic.

3. Helps treat and prevent ADHD.

4. Preventative of obesity.

5. Sunlight exposure raises levels of Vitamin D which prevents cancer and builds strong bones.

6. Helps improve eyesight.

7. Makes for a more creative child.


So get outdoors!

1. Go for a daily walk!

2. Garden (you can babywear or have your child help out).

3. Sit on your porch and play a board game or people-watch.

4. Sit in the park!

5. Engage in an outdoor activity: go fishing, play sports, go for a hike.


Make this a commitment. Schedule it in if you need to. Then once you do let us know how your life has improved by having your daily dose of fresh air.



Note: All health claims are linked to an article. Not all articles are research-based but they do appeal to the common sense. I also believe with a little time we could find some research based articles to back up most, if not all, of these claims.

Health: Childhood Cancer Symptoms

We all think it can't happen to us. Our child will never get sick and if they do get sick we can take them to a doctor and make it all better. With sadness I must relay that this is not always true. Some children come down with life threatening illnesses. One such illness is childhood cancer. As I type this I send my prayers to their healing.

As a parent we need to be aware of the signs of childhood cancer. We need to watch for them in our children and if our mommy instinct tells us that something is not right we need to pursue it. Sometimes our Pediatrician will not take us seriously or will not give us advice that we find satisfactory. It is always okay to ask questions and get a second opinion!

Below I have provided the acronym and symptoms to look for. I know this is a difficult topic so take a deep breath, read the information, send vibes or prayers to families who have to deal with this and then go hug your little one.

Continued, unexplained weight loss

Headaches, often with early morning vomiting

Increased swelling or persistent pain in bones, joints, back, or legs

Lump or mass, especially in the abdomen, neck, chest, pelvis, or armpits

Development of excessive bruising, bleeding, or rash

Constant infections

A whitish color behind the pupil

Nausea which persists or vomiting without nausea

Constant tiredness or noticeable paleness

Eye or vision changes which occur suddenly and persist

Recurrent or persistent fevers of unknown origin

Information from Childhood Cancer Awareness Website.

If this touches you and you have the ability to do so you can make a donation:

Donate to CureSearch for Childhood Cancer

Rants: The Truth in Cliches

I'm sure we've all come across a cliche that we found to be so incredibly true that we wished when it was spoken it was felt more deeply. Of course because it is a cliche it is used more colloquially than with deep feeling.

Well, the cliche that touches my heart is this: "they grow too quickly". And it is so true! Where is that tiny baby that I gave birth to? The one whose entire body would fit in my arms with ease? The one who knew only mother and father and the world around her was foreign and uninteresting? Where is my tiny baby girl?

I know the answer of course. She has grown. Quite beautifully so. She has gone from reacting to the world to interacting with it. She is a big girl now and will only get bigger, smarter, and more independent.

Even following the attachment parenting method I fear the independence. Don't get me wrong I'm happy for her to grow, to learn, to reach new milestones. And yes even to be a self independent of me... I think? At the same time I yearn for us to be one body forever. To escape to a place where I can have an infant for two years, a three-month old for another two, and to continue in this vein until I feel that I'm ready for her to be grown. If only she could be a baby for longer, so much longer.

It feels like an impending and neverending loss. I'm sure this has to do with the loss of our angel baby, that we feel loss so deeply. That we want a *baby* so deeply.

So I try and focus on the positive. Having a one year old has to have some unique fantastic lovely experiences. Right? And a toddler, a school age child, maybe even a teenager... Of course to think that far right now brings me more angst than joy. I want to hold her in my arms forever and dread the day when she will push them off her to go play outside. I know she will always come back to mommy, even as an adult, but still the thought frightens me a little and saddens me a lot.

To add to the loss of infancy we will soon be starting foods. *Sigh*. She is trying to grab them off my plate now. I want to wait as long as possible to start but it won't be much longer. I love being her only source of nourishment. That she has thrived from my body and my love for her.

So she grows! She reaches new milestones! She is a smart, healthy, beautiful growing girl! Get a grip woman! There is positive to focus on. You can't change things. She is going to get bigger, become more independent, need you less. Really I am so so happy for her. That she can do these things. That I can experience this when so many can't. I have cherished every moment and want to cherish the rest. So mom's who have been there use this as a starting point. Tell me what we have to look forward to! I fear if you don't these last few months of babyhood will be equal grief to joy. Help me stop plugging my ears when people tell me how fast she is growing!

Rants: Hold Your Baby Just a Little Bit Closer

This blog is about compassionate motherhood. And where better to start this journey than by recognizing how much a miracle, blessing, and joy our own children are? Remember that no matter how difficult parenting is you can reach inside yourself and find a little bit extra to give to your kids. So take your child and hold him/her closer for a minute today. Let them know how much you love them and let yourself be in that moment of love with your child.

Before I had any children I thought that the words "in love" were reserved for romantic notions. I have come to realize that this is not true. I can quite deeply and honestly say how in love I am with my daughter and my angel baby.

We should never take our love for granted, forget it in the midst of surmounting parenting decisions and overtiredness. Some days we are reminded that people lose their children and others ache to have some and cannot. Since our loss I have not been able to forget this lesson and today I was reminded again how life can bring both joy and pain. We are blessed beyond measure to have a child to hold and to hug. So to all the parents out there who have a child in arm's reach please hold them a little closer today. And to all the parents out there who ache to have a child or to hold a child you have lost, you are in my thoughts and in my family's prayers. Please know that I realize how blessed we are and I will forever treat my daughter with compassion. I will not take a moment for granted.

"Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being ~ Kittie Frantz"

Car Safety: Summer Car Safety

Summer is here and it is so much fun to be out and about with our babies and children! We are blessed to have these little miracles to entertain and bring us joy.

When we are trying to figure out how many diapers we've used and if a trip home is needed before we return those library books it can really be hard to think of something so mundane like the temperature in our car.

It is Hot in a Car!

My featured articles are about just how quickly it can become hot inside your car. Never leave your child or baby unattended inside a car even for a quick minute! When you have to take those groceries inside and it is just you and your little babe don't forget to get that little bundle inside before those groceries! Or if you are a skilled AP* momma you can always babywear :)

Keep in mind that small children can be rascals. All you have to do is leave them unattended a minute playing by the car when they realize they left their favorite toy inside. Next thing you know they are playing in the car w/out realizing how hot is and perhaps even trap themselves inside. When we have that mom moment "hey it's too quiet, what's wrong?" it may be too late.

The following articles address these concerns and gives us some practical safety advice:
Car Safety on a Hot Day and 4 Tips to Safety


What happens when you do make a mistake and lock your kid/baby in the car?

The obvious answer is to call 911 and please do that immediately if possible.
Although this seems like a simple answer it is not always feasible because the mom who locked her kid in the car by mistake probably locked her phone in too and there may not be anyone nearby to flag down. Also in some areas there have been incidents where the authorities refuse to come out unless the kid is unconscious. I know, how uncompassionate!

So what to do? Break a window and get that kid out of there! Break a window that is not near your child and using a window hammer and blanket is probably the safest way to do this. Now I'm not a safety expert and this information is simply what I have obtained by reading articles online and talking with moms who have been in this situation. I do know that if this were to happen to me I'd break the window. Even if you have called the authorities they may take a long time to arrive as is what happened to one lady I talked with. Remember a kid can get very hot very quickly in a locked car. You need to discuss with someone (partner, family member, support system) what you would do in this situation so that you have a plan.

Some locksmiths will come out and unlock your car for free. Pop-A-Lock is one of these locksmiths. Please see the following website to see if there is one in your location and keep their phone number in your car. They may be able to reach you faster than the authorities. Always call 911 in addition to the locksmith. And if they can't get their in time don't think twice about breaking that window.

Pop-A-Lock Child Safe Website
Thanks to my sister for the Pop-A-Lock tip!

And what if you see a baby or small child in a car alone? Please notify the authorities! You can notify them anonymously if you would like. Don't feel like you are giving that parent a tough time either. Leave it up to the experts to make the judgment call in terms of what that parent needs: a warning, a ticket, a child welfare check. Your responsibility is to that child and not the parent!


* AP refers to Attachment Parenting which is a parenting style that focuses on the emotional bond between baby and parents.
** Please note that in the picture here the straps on the car seat are not in the proper position, they should be equal with the armpits.