Baby Food: Spice is Nice

Using spice in your baby food can be just as exciting as trying new foods! Babies enjoy flavorful foods just as much as we do and in many cultures babies are introduced to spices from the very start of solid introduction. In general though the recommendation is to wait eight months before introducing spices regularly into babies diet, this seems to be to prevent upset tummy. Keep in mind that it is still recommended to follow the "wait four days for every new item to allow for allergy" rule.




What I recommend is an entire food experience. Babies are sensory creatures. Choose your spice and introduce it to baby's many senses. Each time you introduce a new spice think of it as a sensory learning experience and do the following.

Sight and Sound: Since spices are so small and generally do not make much sound I've combined these two senses together. Get an empty jar of some sort that is clear like a plastic water bottle or an empty baby food jar. Put some spice in there with hard beans or rice. Then tape the top. Baby can use it as a home made rattle. Of course if you have the full version of herbs and spice baby can enjoy looking at them that way as well.

Smell: Put a dab of the spice on your finger, smell it. If it isn't too strong then hold about an inch away from baby's nose and allow baby to smell. Learning smells is a fun experience!

Touch: Put some of the spice in a bowl and let baby feel it. This will be fun for baby and perhaps even help the development and perfection of the pincher grasp. If your baby uses a pacifier this is the perfect time to let baby suck on it as it will help prevent the hand to mouth scenario. If baby does not then just be sure to keep a close eye on baby to make sure a handful of spice doesn't go into the mouth.

Taste: Mix the spice with one of baby's favorite foods and allow baby to taste it!


Here are some ideas of what foods and spices may work well together. The information was gathered from Wholesome Baby Foods.

"Fruits:

Apple(Sauce): use cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, vanilla, ginger

Pears: use ginger, cinnamon, a drip of vanilla or even mint

Bananas: use cinnamon, ginger, allspice, vanilla

Dairy:

Plain Yogurt : use with mint, cinnamon, nutmeg, vanilla, ginger, allspice, cardamom

Vegetables:

Sweet potato: use with nutmeg, cinnamon and/or cardamom

Pumpkin: use with cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger and dash of vanilla

Carrots: use with basil & garlic - baked cinnamon carrots are yummy too.

Green beans: use with garlic powder

Mashed potatoes(white) : use with dill weed or garlic

Winter Squash (acorn, hubbard, butternut etc.): use with cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, ginger

Cereals/Grains:

Pasta: use oregano, garlic, basil

Oatmeal or other cereals: use fruits, cinnamon & nutmeg, dash of vanilla

Rice (sweet) with cinnamon, nutmeg, dash of vanilla, cardamom, ginger
Quinoa (sweet): use cinnamon, nutmeg, dash of vanilla, cardamom, ginger for sweet

Quinoa (savory): use garlic powder, pepper, onion powder, basil, oregano and others

Meats:

Chicken/Turkey with cinnamon and/or coriander

Chicken/Turkey with garlic powder and basil

Chicken/Turkey with lemon zest and pepper

Chicken/Turkey with basil & oregano

Chicken/Turkey with garlic and pepper
Chicken/Turkey with sage, rosemary and thyme

Beef with garlic and pepper

Beef with onion powder and pepper

Beef with Orange Zest"

Sleep Solution: Replace Your Mommy Mantra

Image from helpfornewmoms.com

"Will this child ever sleep?"

"I am so tired."

"It's 3:00 a.m. so if baby goes to sleep now I'll get 4 hours of sleep."

"How am I going to function tomorrow?"

"This happens every night."

"I wish baby would just stop crying."



Do these phrases sound familiar? Think about them carefully. What mantra do you repeat to yourself when you are up late with your baby, toddler, or child?

Such mantras add more stress to your life. Positive thinking can go a long way to changing your feelings about difficult situations.

I understand that the solution I'm hinting at seems overly simple. For that reason many of you will dismiss this advice and continue doing what hasn't been working. That is your right. However, ask your self this: what would it hurt to try this out? This method takes little extra time and minimal effort to try out. If you are at the point of considering parenting methods that are not widely considered gentle you might as well give this a try.
Here is the method:

1. Turn your clock around to face the wall.

2. Do nothing physically different tonight (or the next night your sweet child is up all night or having trouble going down to sleep). But keep a pen and paper nearby. When you start feeling overwhelmed write down the thoughts that repeat in your mind.

3. The next day when you are feeling a bit more refreshed read over your mommy mantras. Consider how unhelpful they are. Consider this: In the moment that you are completely exhausted and frustrated you don't have too much control over how the night turns out and thus how much sleep you and baby get.

4. Now replace your mommy mantras with something useful. This may take a bit of thought or a night or two of trial and error. Practice repeating this mantra throughout the day.

5. The next time you have a long night stop yourself when you are repeating the negative mommy mantras. If you must wear a hairband around your wrist and snap it when you start the negative thought process then do it. For some that is effective but most will not need it. If the physical pain of the wrist snap makes you even more frustrated then take a sip of water each time you say something negative.

6. Now replace your negative mantras with your positive ones. Repeat as necessary. Absolutely do not let the negative ones repeat. As soon as you notice it, even the feeling of it, stop it.


Give the method a week and after the week assess how well you have been completing the steps. You can't do it halfway. You must be committed. If you have followed the steps appropriately then assess if it has been working for you. Are you less stressed about night wakings or bedtime? If it has worked for you then fantastic. If not then it's time to move on to more extensive sleep solutions. Or perhaps you just need to find another way to stop the negative mommy mantra.

In addition to replacing your mantra with something positive find other ways to enjoy bedtime or night wakings. Tape a favorite tv show and watch it (you may need to put the caption on), start a painting that you only work on at night, have a night yoga routine, save a special sweet treat for these exhausting nights, record some positive mood music. I know that enjoying this time is difficult but it is possible or mostly possible.

I've been trying to get my little girl to sleep for several hours now only to finally get her down to sleep. She will wake several more times tonight but I'm not worried about that, the worst is over for us tonight. During our difficult sleep session tonight I had a brief moment of reflection that led me to type this out. I thought to myself "wow, I am amazingly calm, why?". Thankfully I could identify the answer. I used to be a sleep freak. I mean I coveted my sleep. Of course I was a huge sufferer of insomnia and plenty of other sleep issues so sleep was a huge commodity for me. What made my sleepless nights most difficult was the negative mantras I would say to myself and the constant clock checking. Once I was able to stop these behaviors I ended up relaxing so much more about bedtime. Now I'm grateful that I've had that experience, it has served me well as a mommy.

Breastfeeding: A Biting Baby!

Image from http://www.achildgrows.com

Ouch! S/he Bit Me!

One of the most predominant fears new moms have is how they are going to nurse when baby starts getting teeth. So when the first bite happens sometimes a bit of panic sets in, especially when baby thinks moms squeals of pain are super funny. I've got good news though. Not all moms will have a biting baby and those that do recover from it!

Here are my recommendations on dealing with a biting baby.

1. Assess for distractability. If biting is happening predominantly at the end of a nursing session then it is likely baby is just finished eating and is now using you as a "chew toy" so to speak. Delatch and let baby play. Or if baby is biting at the very beginning it could be that baby is in pain and doesn't really want to nurse or that you should take the measures in step 2. This also means allowing your baby to choose when to nurse. If you try to nurse LO when they aren't ready you are upping your chances for getting bit.

2. Assess for teething (which is the predominant reasons babies bite at the breast). If baby is teething then offer a cold or frozen washcloth before nursing. Or better yet put some ice in a mesh feeder or tied off baby sock. This will help the gums feel better and reduce the need for baby to chew on you.

3. When baby bites delatch. Every time. What seems to be the most affective delatching procedure for a biting baby is to pull baby into your breast so they have to delatch. You can alternatively stick a finger in baby's mouth to delatch.

4. Say a firm but gentle "No" or if you are trying not to use that word say "That Hurts" or "Ouch", anything as long as it is consistent. Verbal communication is important but must be followed through with action. Be aware of your tone when saying 'no', don't make it too playful or too scary.

5. Offer something for baby to bite on that is okay. They make teething bling you can wear around your neck. Redirect the biting to this or something else baby enjoys to bite. You might have to explore what that is. If you are comfortable offering a knuckle or finger that can help too.

6. Do not over react! This is very important. It probably doesn't seem like overreacting to you when you scream 'ouch' after baby bites because it really hurts. But if your baby is smiling or acting like this is fun then it was an overreaction. We don't want baby to think this is a game. Alternatively if your baby becomes upset at the thought of nursing you could have really scared them and now need to coax them back into it, very slowly and gently.

7. Encourage baby when s/he does not bite! Positive reinforcement is very important in teaching any lesson.

8. Have patience and be consistent. Stick to the routine and in time baby will get it. Don't give up too soon. Babies need time to learn. Usually about two weeks, sometimes shorter, if you've been consistent and you will see change. If not then re-asses what you are doing. Keep in mind that once teething is over this will likely end.

If your nipple becomes damaged from biting then please seek help from an IBCLC or your favorite La Leche Leader. You don't want nipple damage to stop you from nursing!

Keep in mind moms that this may be the first discipline measure you are taking with your child. You want it to be a positive experience for both you and set the tone for the future :).
If your nipple becomes damaged from biting then please seek help from an IBCLC or your favorite La Leche Leader. You don't want nipple damage to stop you from nursing!

Keep in mind moms that this may be the first discipline measure you are taking with your child. You want it to be a positive experience for both you and set the tone for the future :).

Edited 12/27/10 to remove elements of love-withdrawl

Health: A Breath of Fresh Air

A breath of fresh air is good for both child and parent!

I highly recommend getting outside once a day
as a daily ritual and commitment.

I realize there are a lot of deterrents to daily outdoor time: time, weather, inconvenience, multiple children, etc... I am offering to you that the benefits will be worth it. We can all take five minutes out of our day, or thirty for that matter, to do something as simple as going for a walk or sitting outside in the fresh air.

Of course the benefits to parent are pretty well known but please indulge me as a I list them again:

1. Vitamin D exposure (sunlight) increases your mood and is preventative of depression.

2. Getting outdoors increases chances of getting exercise. And any exercise, even a five minute walk a day, is good for our health.

3. When we can take a couple minutes a day to do something as relaxing as being outdoors our stress levels improve.

4. Getting outdoors increases amounts of quality family time which makes happier more well-adjusted families.

If that isn't reason enough to get outdoors consider the benefits for your baby or child that are in addition to what is listed above:

1. Getting sunlight during the day improves night time sleep.

2. Getting outdoors helps prevent colic.

3. Helps treat and prevent ADHD.

4. Preventative of obesity.

5. Sunlight exposure raises levels of Vitamin D which prevents cancer and builds strong bones.

6. Helps improve eyesight.

7. Makes for a more creative child.


So get outdoors!

1. Go for a daily walk!

2. Garden (you can babywear or have your child help out).

3. Sit on your porch and play a board game or people-watch.

4. Sit in the park!

5. Engage in an outdoor activity: go fishing, play sports, go for a hike.


Make this a commitment. Schedule it in if you need to. Then once you do let us know how your life has improved by having your daily dose of fresh air.



Note: All health claims are linked to an article. Not all articles are research-based but they do appeal to the common sense. I also believe with a little time we could find some research based articles to back up most, if not all, of these claims.

Health: Childhood Cancer Symptoms

We all think it can't happen to us. Our child will never get sick and if they do get sick we can take them to a doctor and make it all better. With sadness I must relay that this is not always true. Some children come down with life threatening illnesses. One such illness is childhood cancer. As I type this I send my prayers to their healing.

As a parent we need to be aware of the signs of childhood cancer. We need to watch for them in our children and if our mommy instinct tells us that something is not right we need to pursue it. Sometimes our Pediatrician will not take us seriously or will not give us advice that we find satisfactory. It is always okay to ask questions and get a second opinion!

Below I have provided the acronym and symptoms to look for. I know this is a difficult topic so take a deep breath, read the information, send vibes or prayers to families who have to deal with this and then go hug your little one.

Continued, unexplained weight loss

Headaches, often with early morning vomiting

Increased swelling or persistent pain in bones, joints, back, or legs

Lump or mass, especially in the abdomen, neck, chest, pelvis, or armpits

Development of excessive bruising, bleeding, or rash

Constant infections

A whitish color behind the pupil

Nausea which persists or vomiting without nausea

Constant tiredness or noticeable paleness

Eye or vision changes which occur suddenly and persist

Recurrent or persistent fevers of unknown origin

Information from Childhood Cancer Awareness Website.

If this touches you and you have the ability to do so you can make a donation:

Donate to CureSearch for Childhood Cancer

Rants: The Truth in Cliches

I'm sure we've all come across a cliche that we found to be so incredibly true that we wished when it was spoken it was felt more deeply. Of course because it is a cliche it is used more colloquially than with deep feeling.

Well, the cliche that touches my heart is this: "they grow too quickly". And it is so true! Where is that tiny baby that I gave birth to? The one whose entire body would fit in my arms with ease? The one who knew only mother and father and the world around her was foreign and uninteresting? Where is my tiny baby girl?

I know the answer of course. She has grown. Quite beautifully so. She has gone from reacting to the world to interacting with it. She is a big girl now and will only get bigger, smarter, and more independent.

Even following the attachment parenting method I fear the independence. Don't get me wrong I'm happy for her to grow, to learn, to reach new milestones. And yes even to be a self independent of me... I think? At the same time I yearn for us to be one body forever. To escape to a place where I can have an infant for two years, a three-month old for another two, and to continue in this vein until I feel that I'm ready for her to be grown. If only she could be a baby for longer, so much longer.

It feels like an impending and neverending loss. I'm sure this has to do with the loss of our angel baby, that we feel loss so deeply. That we want a *baby* so deeply.

So I try and focus on the positive. Having a one year old has to have some unique fantastic lovely experiences. Right? And a toddler, a school age child, maybe even a teenager... Of course to think that far right now brings me more angst than joy. I want to hold her in my arms forever and dread the day when she will push them off her to go play outside. I know she will always come back to mommy, even as an adult, but still the thought frightens me a little and saddens me a lot.

To add to the loss of infancy we will soon be starting foods. *Sigh*. She is trying to grab them off my plate now. I want to wait as long as possible to start but it won't be much longer. I love being her only source of nourishment. That she has thrived from my body and my love for her.

So she grows! She reaches new milestones! She is a smart, healthy, beautiful growing girl! Get a grip woman! There is positive to focus on. You can't change things. She is going to get bigger, become more independent, need you less. Really I am so so happy for her. That she can do these things. That I can experience this when so many can't. I have cherished every moment and want to cherish the rest. So mom's who have been there use this as a starting point. Tell me what we have to look forward to! I fear if you don't these last few months of babyhood will be equal grief to joy. Help me stop plugging my ears when people tell me how fast she is growing!

Rants: Gentle Parenting

I'm a fan of using the gentlest most compassionate method available in your toolbox. When we have mothering decisions to make I am a firm believer that we should first evaluate the decision and then choose the most gentle method available. If that method doesn't work then keep at it or seek out a support system to find other tools of compassion. I cannot back up methods that cause pain or stress for your infant.

There are gentle methods of helping with baby "problems". Spending (even) more time in close physical contact with your baby is one of them and I deeply believe it will help with a majority of the issues people proclaim to have with an infant. Now I know we all spend lots of time in contact with baby. I'm just suggesting more of that! Use it as your tool to get baby to sleep, to nap, to be less fussy instead of finding other tools to do so.

As you know I'm a reader and researcher. I also believe in natural and attachment parenting. Apparently for good reason. If you practice some attachment principles research shows you will have a baby who is less fussy and sleeps better. Instead of using methods like allowing your baby to cry you can use gentler methods that have the same outcome. I do!

Now I've heard several arguments to the contrary: that a high needs baby won't respond to these methods, that working mothers have a harder time using such methods, and that each parent chooses what works best for their family. Of course I agree there is some truth in those arguments but I don't believe they have to be contrary. You can have a high needs baby, be a working mother, and be choosing the best choice for your entire family while making the decision to choose gentle methods. I even believe that if you do you will have less baby "problems" and more happiness!

(cartoon is from The Parenting Pit another compassionate mothering blog!)

The principle is simple and it is two parts.

A. The more time you spend close to baby the more baby feels secure and thus has fewer issues going down to sleep and being less fussy in general.

B. The more you give in to the fact that your baby will cry, be fussy all day some days, be up at night for weeks at a time the better your emotional health will be and thus the better your relationship with baby and becoming less frustrated and overwhelmed.

Things to try:

1. More skin to skin contact. In our society we've created a lot of "tools" to keep baby away from us. Strollers vs slings, cribs vs. our bed, highchair vs. our lap, even baby's holding their own bottles etc...

2. Babywearing!

3. Co-Sleeping or part-time co-sleeping: An example of part-time co-sleeping would be laying next to your baby when you put him/her down for a nap until baby falls asleep.

4. Outdoor Time: Going for a Walk, Time in the Park, Etc..

5. Giving in to the idea that babies are not biologically designed to sleep through the night. Have a set-up so when you are up at night you can have fun (internet, movies, snacks, etc..).

Please feel free to comment with more ideas I can add to this list!

Here is research to back me up:

Research 1: Maternal Emotional Availability at Bedtime Predicts Infant Sleep Quality

This is a research study that is about exactly what the title says. I am research minded and to find a high quality study like this makes me feel quite happy that we are able to quantify some good quality parenting.

Research 2: "Sleeping with your baby by James McKenna" Dr. James McKenna is a leading authority on parent baby sleep. He has a Ph.D. and works from the University of Notre Dame sleep lab in which the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development fund his research.

" Human infants are more helpless than any other animal species. .. Most mammals are born with 60-90% of adult brain size. Humans are born with just 25% of adult brain size. Compared with other mammals, human infants take the longest time to grow up, and they remain in a biologically dependent state for the longest period of time...human infants are "extero-gestators, meaning they complete their gestation after birth, and someones got to be there to help with it. .. Due to this extreme developmental immaturity , babies require parental (especially maternal) smell, touch, sounds, and movement in order to feel secure and have their physical needs met at an optimal level. All primate infants, including humans, biologically expect to be in close contact and proximity with their caregivers. .. There is no such thing as giving a human infant too much contact or affection. .. When deprived of these sensations, a baby will use her primary survival response - crying - and will produce cortisol, a stress hormone, as she attempts to attract the attention of her parents."

Research 3: It is natural to feel stressed your baby is crying! As mothers we release a stress hormone when our baby cries. But the natural response is to soothe your baby not let them cry more that is why we have this hormone to trigger us to respond. It is better for both mom and baby to come together when baby is crying. The more that happens the less both parties will be stressed out.

Quote from Parenting Magazine (link above): "When a baby cries, it triggers the release of the hormone prolactin (dubbed "the mothering hormone") in moms, which creates an urge to pick up the baby and meet her needs. You're hardwired to soothe your baby, and when that doesn't happen, it can make you feel like a failure. But your baby's fussiness is not a reflection on your parenting skills - and it's completely normal for a baby to cry even when there doesn't seem to be a direct cause."

I have an infant now and cannot speak from experience to raising an older child but this is reminiscent of another issue that will be coming up soon for us mother's of babies. We must choose gentle practices now because the decisions only get more complicated as our children age. It strikes me as similar to spanking. There is a method that is non-invasive and harmful (not spanking) and then there is one that is a invasive and painful if not harmful (spanking). They both may work but why not choose the more calm, least painful, more nurturing alternative?

Rants: Hold Your Baby Just a Little Bit Closer

This blog is about compassionate motherhood. And where better to start this journey than by recognizing how much a miracle, blessing, and joy our own children are? Remember that no matter how difficult parenting is you can reach inside yourself and find a little bit extra to give to your kids. So take your child and hold him/her closer for a minute today. Let them know how much you love them and let yourself be in that moment of love with your child.

Before I had any children I thought that the words "in love" were reserved for romantic notions. I have come to realize that this is not true. I can quite deeply and honestly say how in love I am with my daughter and my angel baby.

We should never take our love for granted, forget it in the midst of surmounting parenting decisions and overtiredness. Some days we are reminded that people lose their children and others ache to have some and cannot. Since our loss I have not been able to forget this lesson and today I was reminded again how life can bring both joy and pain. We are blessed beyond measure to have a child to hold and to hug. So to all the parents out there who have a child in arm's reach please hold them a little closer today. And to all the parents out there who ache to have a child or to hold a child you have lost, you are in my thoughts and in my family's prayers. Please know that I realize how blessed we are and I will forever treat my daughter with compassion. I will not take a moment for granted.

"Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being ~ Kittie Frantz"

Car Safety: Summer Car Safety

Summer is here and it is so much fun to be out and about with our babies and children! We are blessed to have these little miracles to entertain and bring us joy.

When we are trying to figure out how many diapers we've used and if a trip home is needed before we return those library books it can really be hard to think of something so mundane like the temperature in our car.

It is Hot in a Car!

My featured articles are about just how quickly it can become hot inside your car. Never leave your child or baby unattended inside a car even for a quick minute! When you have to take those groceries inside and it is just you and your little babe don't forget to get that little bundle inside before those groceries! Or if you are a skilled AP* momma you can always babywear :)

Keep in mind that small children can be rascals. All you have to do is leave them unattended a minute playing by the car when they realize they left their favorite toy inside. Next thing you know they are playing in the car w/out realizing how hot is and perhaps even trap themselves inside. When we have that mom moment "hey it's too quiet, what's wrong?" it may be too late.

The following articles address these concerns and gives us some practical safety advice:
Car Safety on a Hot Day and 4 Tips to Safety


What happens when you do make a mistake and lock your kid/baby in the car?

The obvious answer is to call 911 and please do that immediately if possible.
Although this seems like a simple answer it is not always feasible because the mom who locked her kid in the car by mistake probably locked her phone in too and there may not be anyone nearby to flag down. Also in some areas there have been incidents where the authorities refuse to come out unless the kid is unconscious. I know, how uncompassionate!

So what to do? Break a window and get that kid out of there! Break a window that is not near your child and using a window hammer and blanket is probably the safest way to do this. Now I'm not a safety expert and this information is simply what I have obtained by reading articles online and talking with moms who have been in this situation. I do know that if this were to happen to me I'd break the window. Even if you have called the authorities they may take a long time to arrive as is what happened to one lady I talked with. Remember a kid can get very hot very quickly in a locked car. You need to discuss with someone (partner, family member, support system) what you would do in this situation so that you have a plan.

Some locksmiths will come out and unlock your car for free. Pop-A-Lock is one of these locksmiths. Please see the following website to see if there is one in your location and keep their phone number in your car. They may be able to reach you faster than the authorities. Always call 911 in addition to the locksmith. And if they can't get their in time don't think twice about breaking that window.

Pop-A-Lock Child Safe Website
Thanks to my sister for the Pop-A-Lock tip!

And what if you see a baby or small child in a car alone? Please notify the authorities! You can notify them anonymously if you would like. Don't feel like you are giving that parent a tough time either. Leave it up to the experts to make the judgment call in terms of what that parent needs: a warning, a ticket, a child welfare check. Your responsibility is to that child and not the parent!


* AP refers to Attachment Parenting which is a parenting style that focuses on the emotional bond between baby and parents.
** Please note that in the picture here the straps on the car seat are not in the proper position, they should be equal with the armpits.